Holiday Depression

Why is it that people get depressed during the holidays? Why is the highest suicide rate is New Year's Day.

It's not hard to figure once we spend a moment thinking about it. It comes down to our expectations and what our experiences have been and who is in our lives during the holidays. For those whose lives are not going well, don't have good relationships with their family, don't have someone special in their lives or have expectations that are out of control will not fare well during the season.

During economic hard times we feel the loss more intensely because we can't give the kind of gifts we once gave and we may feel disappointed by what we get or don't get at holiday time. We may put so much pressure on ourselves to be giving to everyone that we run out of gas and collapse in exhaustion and depression when not much is coming back.

So much for the season to be jolly. So what's the solution? Lower our expectations, plan some fun things, don't do so much that it makes the whole process feel like it's too much. Find a gift plan that works for your budget, like cookie baskets or cards that you make yourself. Even a phone call is worthwhile. Remember it always feels good to know that someone cares. If your family is too toxic to be around then it's best to make other plans and don't give way to obligation and exhaustion. Please click here for more information on depression. 

All in all make the season as much about you as it is for everyone else. My motto is everyone counts including you.

Happy Holidays.

Comments

[Eva]

Hi Dr. Bill,

That makes so much sense. Thanks for the great advice. I agree that it is important not to give in to obligations. Life's too short to try to live up to others' expectations.

[Bill Cloke]

Big expectations big disappointment. If we expect ourselves to be perfect, we will be constantly disappointed. The same applies to others. So, we ask, can we have expectations at all?
Yes, but they must be realistic. That takes some thinking and understanding to develop. Realistic expectations would look something like: trusting those who have earned it. Give what makes us feel good about the giving without expecting anything in return.
All of this takes some time to complicated but in the end you will be much happier.