Ho Ho Humbug

'Tis the season for gift giving and celebrating in all forms and fashions. It's a time of religious ritual and the commemoration of the Birth of Christ and the Festival of Lights. For others it's a time of over indulgence. Sugar junkies, alcoholics and compulsive shoppers are in pig heaven. The rest of us folks fall somewhere in between.

This time of year we also fall prey to family obligation with all it's drama, along with a smattering of good old guilt. For others, not so much. There are also those who are totally against the whole mass marketing of religion and commerce. Hallelujah! Whilst we are in the midst of such stimulation it is quite difficult not to be swayed by all the traditions tugging at our heart strings. "If I could only buy that special gift, then they would love me, right?"

So how do we get through the holidays without either a DUI or massive credit card bills? What is a reasonable approach to this very festive time so we can avoid the inevitable pleasure seeking hang over?

We might start by setting some realistic boundaries both emotionally and financially. How much weight can we afford to gain and how much money can we spend without going into financial blight? It's a good idea to set some limits before we get caught up in the hype of "It only comes once a year so what the hell, go for it" kind of mentality. Set yourself a course that will enable you to get the most out of this massive onslaught of stimulus and develop a resonable response. What are you really capable of? What do you want to feel like when it is all over? Set your sights on the outcome, this will help guide you through the straights and narrows of ultra commercialism and towering buffets of chocolate.

The most common problem behaviors during the holidays are guilt, obligation and expectation. These operating principles can lead us in a spiral of compulsive pathos that can put a damper on our otherwise charmed lives. Even not so charmed lives. What to do? Eliminating all of the above would be the best course. Guilt is mainly about an idealized way to be that is not realistic, obligation kills love, and expectations create disappointment. Not so good. Of course there are some obligations that are necessary, but we need to limit them to celebrations, birhdays, weddings, health issues and funerals. Expectations we can do entirely without and guilt is of no great use either.

The trick is to use reason, thoughtfullness, heart, caring and support to get through this holiday season. The kicker is that everyone is important, including you. Do the things that bring comfort and will in the end allow you to look back and feel like you made it through reletively unscathed. If not, then go out singing.